Always Alan

Notion - After All This Time? Always
Song - Lily's Theme

'Forever' bemuses me. Bewilders me, befuddles me. 'Forever' beats me.

Since I could comprehend comprehension,  there are two aspects of life in general that I have been suspicious about - space and time. Specifically, this whole conspiracy about how space is infinite and some things can last forever. I think watching Truman Show convinced me that horizons are fake. I was convinced that there is an end 'skywall' for our world just like Truman's. But here's where things got complicated for me. Truman crossed over that wall and entered our world. If we happen to cross over our 'skywall', what will we find there? Another world that's followed by another world, followed by another wold and so on? Or would we immediately find an infinite expanse of nothing? So regardless of whether our world is as fake as Truman's, the concept of infinity holds true - and that is why forever bamboozles me.

I am ready to let go of my issue with the concept of infinite space; space is boundless, limitless, endless - fair point. But this concept of endless, forever time, well, drains all my mental faculties. Thinking about  time travel, backward and or forward, is more engaging, though more complex, than comprehending that time, just like space, can be and is limitless. I have tried to understand, interpret, and comprehend it from every angle. Mathematics has been kind enough to maintain its complexity with equally complicated principles of 'limit to infinity' or 'divide by zero'. Infinite time makes no sense is what I learned from all that math! Arts and Literature, on the other hand, have been extremely unkind to me, I must say. Innumerable songs, paintings, writings revere and pay homage to the glories of forever. And how they love to fiercely establish that true love is the one that lasts forever. That's way too much pressure innit? And poor thing, what about the love that lasted for say a million years? 'Nah, it wasn't forever'. Which is why, probably one of the only sensible and logical things about the Twilight movies was the end credit song by Christina Perri, which talks about committing to love for 1000 years and then another 1000. A realistic commitment of finite number of years. And they were vampires so it is totally believable that they actually existed those 2000 years for these lofty claims to come true. What happens after that? Who knows, but at least they weren't fooling us.

Which is why I get saddened by the thought that when a girl like Bella, who fell in love with a vampire (facepalm to the power of infinity - yes I believe in infinity but just not of time), could say sensible things and not love him for forever but for a finite amount of time, then how on Earth could the bravest and cleverest of all the wizards be so ordinary and claim that he loved Lily Evans forever? 

Sigh, Snape ...

When I finished reading Harry Potter more than a decade ago, I will admit, I was slightly disappointed that at the core of it all was just one thing - love. Harry's love for his friends that kept him going, Lily's love for her son that cast a protecting spell over him, and Severus Snape's unforgettably moving casting of his Patronus that dismayed most of us readers who were rooting for the half-blood Prince to be evil. But there it was - A love that will never grow Old. Disheartened, Rowling thus made me think that did I really read these books only to learn that Love Conquers it All? And that the love that lasts forever is even more powerful? Celine Dion taught me that years ago in her song That's The Way It Is. I was as sorrowed as some HP fans who wanted Harry to die - trust me, I know one such person very well.

But then I thought I should listen to the one person that I respect and love the most - Alan Rickman.

Alan Rickman perhaps wasn't aware of what he was getting himself into when he signed up to be Rowling's sinewy and snide Severus Snape. Or perhaps, he was in fact the only person who knew it all and therefore was able to breathe such genuine life into that character. If you look up videos and read articles about Alan Rickman in real life, oh well, get ready to bawl and howl for he was nothing but an remarkable human being. And yes, I know that Snape was nothing of that sort but there was one thing that was certain as anything can be about him. And Rickman portrayed it marvellously on-screen besides the usual snide fabulousness he brought in every scene. His undying and unquivering love for Lily. The Snape in the books had already taught me that 'change-is-the-only-constant' aside, there are some things that never change. Ever.

But I wasn't fully sold as they were just words in a book, eh? I waited for the movie and for the 'real Snape', aka Alan Rickman, to tell me the same thing. And he blew me away - forever.

Firstly, gratitude and respect for the movie makers for delivering such a wonderful movie and staying almost mostly on-script of the actual story. But the opening scene of Deathly Hallows Part 2 with the haunting music and image of Snape standing - speechless. It was an audiovisual experience I am certain I can never forget. Yep, I said it - I will remember it forever. I recently wrote about Howard Ashman's music and how Beauty and the Beast is yet another example that helps me comprehend forever better. But it is the haunting tune by Alexandre Desplat, Lily's Theme, and Alan Rickman's still standing that help me hear and see 'forever.' So although I agree that one should move on, not hold on to the past, learn to let go, welcome change, adjust, adapt and whatnot, there will 'always' be some things in my life for which you might ask me - 

"After All This Time?"

And I shall 'never' fail to reply to that with just an - 

"Always."